INTERNal Balance

7:00 am: Alarm number one goes off. I turn it off and close my eyes again.

7:15 am: Alarm number two goes off. If I’m lucky, my brain registers that I actually must get up and adult today.

7:30 – 8:10am: I actually get out of bed and go make myself a *Whole 30 approved* breakfast and pack a lunch before retreating back to my room. I dress myself, gather my belongings, and head out to brave the harsh reality of public transportation.

After two walks and a train ride, I arrive at 100 Walker Street, board the elevator, and ascend to the 11^th floor – home of the Benojo office.

Since beginning my internship a mere ten days ago, I have quickly come to the realization that being an intern is hard work.

I have had jobs before. I have worked at a Farmer’s Market, a Taco Shop, and been a nanny, but I have never actually been a full time intern the way I am now.

The difficulty in being an intern is not necessarily in the tasks I am assigned or even the long hours (though these do add up when factoring in a long commute each way). Rather, the difficulty is in finding balance.

I am lucky to be at Benojo – a place where I feel that my presence is valued and more than coffee is expected of me. I enjoy having responsibility and the freedom to express ideas and opinions. However, there is a limit to my freedom. 

How many ideas should I share? How valued are my opinions, really? How many mundane tasks should I complete before it is ok to ask to do something different?

These questions are only intensified by the fact that we are in Australia. The grammar is different. The work environment is different. The people are different. It is all different. 

Recently, I was assigned the task of making email contact with clients the company had not reached in a while. I was instructed to attach a PDF document with more information about recent changes in the company to each email, so I perused the document to better understand the purpose of my email. 

I found two grammatical errors - not large ones, but errors nonetheless. Or so I thought... I texted my mom right away to see what I should do. On one hand, I felt that the company would appreciate knowing if they had made a mistake. On the other hand, I am aware that I do not fully understand all of the differences in Australian writing, so I was concerned I would seem "holier than thou" if I pointed them out. 

After some advice from mother dearest, I decided that these errors were probably not worth the risk. After all, the document was not of a formal tone, and it was filled with pictures and infographics. 

This seemingly small event stuck out to me, though. The difference between the right choice and the wrong can be so minuscule sometimes that, as an intern, weighing your options and trying to make the best guess is all you can do.

It is finding this balance between wanting to help out the company in whatever way possible while also trying to get experience in the areas that truly interest me and will be beneficial in my career search that is a true challenge.

I expect that in the coming weeks, I will learn how to find this balance – how to be an intern. I do not expect for this to happen overnight. While I am pleased with my placement and the infrequency of my assigned coffee runs, I know that I must go through some of the lows to balance out the highs.

5:45 pm: I am usually home or arriving home at this time. I will go inside, compare days with my roommates, and try my best to get a good night’s sleep before beginning the process all over again and hoping I’ll get a little closer to finding that [INTERN]al balance. J